Ceres woke up to find a metal scorpion lying at her feet. (RUN, Scorponok! RUN!) He looked, tame, she guessed. (lmao, really? Like Megatron, he had a really funny way of showing it back in Qatar, shooting off plasma rounds and blowing up soldiers and brick fortresses) She laid a hand on its head. It chirped quietly and woke up. (I bet if he could talk, he'd probably be going, "WTF?! GET OUT OF MY BED, YOU PLOTLESS TRAMP!") It shook its head and ran out the door. (Good job, Scorponok. At least there's ONE character that won't succumb to her voodoo powers . . .) Ceres smiled as she watched the scorpion depart. She reminded him of her old dog, Jiff. (Yeah? Jiff had six legs, a steel body in the shape of a massive scorpion, a vast weaponry system, and the ability to travel under the sand?) Tears came to her eyes. She shook them away ("shook them away"? Couldn't you have just wiped them away like any normal person? Oh . . . wait. Never mind. Forgot you were a Mary-Sue. Gotta be all dramatic and stuff.) and walked to the bathroom. He's in a better place now. (And I'm sure he's loving it, knowing that you can't get to him.) Once her face was clean and her hairy (lmfao . . . take out 'her' and what do you get? Ceres' secret! She's ACTUALLY a Gary-Su!) brought into a messy ponytail she walked to Sal's room to check on her.
She knocked on the door.
"Hang on a minute." Sal shouted. She opened the door and let Ceres in.
"How are you this morning?" Ceres asked.
"I'm fine mother (whoa, WHAT?) and you." Sal replied. "Want coffee? Starscream just brought me some. (Starscream . . . I guess this means you've ditched your traitorous and assassinating ways? Do you hold hands with Megatron as well now?) It seems that the transformers stock piled years and years of human necessities for any surviving humans." (Well, isn't THAT convenient? You mean to tell me that the Cybertronians have been stocking up on human crap for . . . no reason at all? I mean, that's what they WOULD be doing . . . unless of course they KNEW that the Earth was going to be EATEN by the FUCKING SUN! DAMN you, Optimus PRIME!)
Ceres smiled when Sal called her mother. Though she was 22, two years older than her and Gabriella, she was often called mom, mother, and mother hen. (. . . your friends are really messed up, Mary-Sue #1.) She didn't like the last one though. (Neither do I.)
"Coffee would be great. I'm fine now that we aren't trapped in that hunk of metal we call a ship. (Hey, just remember you that said that. If your ship heard you say that, it would strip itself of the "ESCAPE SHIP" wording, and when the time came for you to escape again . . . YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO! 'Cause again, you'll get your asses kicked for using a non-escape ship to escape.) You seem especially giddy today, may I ask why?" (NO! I don't want to know, okay?)
"Well… Ratchet said that I was cute last night. (Aw, he's just fuckin' around with you, Mary-Sue #2. Don't get your hopes up.) I don't know, it's just been awhile since I've heard a man, or in this case a mech, compliment me. (Psht, and we all know how you whore out for compliments, Mary-Sue #2. You must be feeling very deprived then, huh?) Go ahead and say it's weird (IT'S WEIRD!), I agree. (Then leave him alone, damn you!)"
"I don't think it's weird, I've heard legends (lmfao . . . 'legends'?) of humans and transformers together. (So, because they're legends, they can be considered 'mythical creatures', too, right?) Don't put yourself down," Ceres patted her shoulder, "I know how you feel."
"Thanks Ceres; see you later."
"Chow." (lmao 'chow'? As in 'Puppy Chow'? Look, we all know you miss that Jiff creature, but it's spelt 'Ciao'.)
Ceres looked to find Gabriella sitting on Prime's leg (OMG WHORE!). They looked in deep conversation about philosophical things. (Oh really? You sure it isn't because she's sitting close to his, as the author once called it in one of her other stories, "interface"?) She decided not to interfere. She hated thinking 'outside the box' (What's there to 'think outside the box' about? Mary-Sue #3 is whoring-up Prime's leg while they're talking about 'philosophical things'. It can't GET anymore obvious than that.) and puzzling over things that will give you a headache. (And so that's why you've become the leader 'cause you'll simply get headaches from puzzling while the other two might suffer from cerebral hemorrhaging or something?) She had better things to do. (Like seeking out another victim' cause the first one is now taken.) She walked down the hall to explore her new home when she heard firing down at the end. She walked over to find that it was a shooting range.
Looking up she saw Megatron in the last stall. She loved his paint job. (Psht, please. You'll tell him anything to get him into bed with you.) It was very stylish. She sighed and walked over to greet him but as soon as she came close she floor would vibrate from the aftershocks of his cannon. Every three seconds she would find herself on the floor. (Just STAY DOWN, you slutty girl, you. Maybe if you lie still, Mighty Megatron won't notice you and he can then GET ON with his IN-CHARACTERNESS again.) Not to mention the vibrations tickled her. (Whoa, the floor is getting a bit frisky, don't you think . . .?) She couldn't stop laughing. Megatron looked down to see Ceres on the floor cracking up.
"Is there something wrong Ceres?" Megatron asked. He was confused, why was she laughing so hard?
"Stop shooting for a second. (And just aim AT her and shoot like your In-Characterness DEPENDS on it - which it DOES!) Please! (You heard her! FIRE!)"
Ceres choked (I wish . . .) on her giggles as her body went back to its normal state. (Normal state? Was she morphing or something?)
Megatron carefully picked the panting human up to calm her.
"What happened?" He asked with great concern. (ARGH! MEGATRON does NOT show CONCERN!)
"Well, while you were shooting, the aftershocks caused to floor to vibrate. The vibrations knocked me off balance and tickled me. (Hmm . . . is this foreshadowing? Her skin being ultra sensitive? Possibly to a big, metal man's touch?) That was why I was laughing." Ceres Explained. (And because the explanation was so ingenious and in depth that the word 'explained' deserved to be capitalized.)
"Oh, okay, I was afraid that there was either something wrong with me or there was something wrong with you. (Oh, there is so much 'WRONG' going on here that it's barely stomach-able . . .)" Megatron sighed with relief. "Are the quarters to your satisfactory?" (Yes, Megatron! They're all shiny and small and metallic and -- OH, LOOK! They have faces on them! :D Awww . . .)
"Yes, lord Megatron, I slept well, thank you." She smirked when she said lord Megatron. Starscream always calls him that. ('Cept he means it when he says it 'cause he capitalizes the title. You just capitalize words that have no business being capitalized, giving them this false sense of BEING IMPORTANT.)
Megatron chuckled when she called him that. She was quite amusing, and things have gotten quite boring. He caught her looking at his cannon. (WHOA! Put that AWAY, Megatron! Can't you see that you're holding a chick that is just HUNGRY to get her greedy, little Mary-Sue paws on that thing? What a pervy-perv-bot.)
"Do you like it? ("oooohhh.... very much . . ." lmao . . . God, the innuendo . . . it hurts!) I do, it's my new baby. (Well, I would THINK that you liked it . . . otherwise you'd be a masochist, forcing yourself to use something you hate.) My very own plasma cannon." (You didn't have one before? Well, shit, what the hell were you using in all the cartoons?) Megatron beamed with pride as he showed off his toy. (See, THIS is why we shouldn't allow villains to have weapons of destruction. They think they're TOYS and use them on anything and everything.) "Watch this." (Aw, do I have to . . .? Oh, FINE, but hurry up. I've things to do.) Megatron cocked his cannon and fired. (. . . that was it?) When Ceres looked at the target, there was nothing left. (Oh, wait, NOW I see! It's an ILLUSION cannon! You aim at the target, fire, and then . . . the target disappears! Holy shit! I want one! :D)
"Very nice." She complimented.
"Thank you." Megatron reminded her of her fiancé. (Was he also named Jiff?) How she missed him. (I can totally tell, especially with you hitting up on a 20 foot robotic alien and whatever.) He perished on Earth. (He was one of the dumbasses who flew in the direction of the sun, wasn't he?) Megatron noticed Ceres looking depressed. (Ignore it, Megatron. She's just being emo. It'll pass in a few seconds.)
"You are thinking of Earth aren't you?"
"Yeah (WTF? YOU LIAR! You were thinking about your dead ex!), I know I shouldn't, and I don't to but, it was my home." (*snerks* Not anymore. It's no one's home now.) Ceres felt tears run down her face.
"I understand. Ceres look at me. Look deep into my optics of doom." He gently started rubbing her back to comfort her and relax her.
Ceres looked up into Megatron's optics of doom.
"If there is anything that you ever need, or if there is ever anything I can do, let me know." (Golly gee, does he grant wishes now? Can I wish upon a Megatron? :D)
"Thank you Megatron, I appreciate it greatly." (You would.)
"Now, would you like to go to the greenhouse? (These guys are just thieves. Seriously; taking our shit for themselves before the sun swallowed up the planet.) You would enjoy it there." Megatron looked at her with anxiousness.
"I would love to." Ceres smiled and gave Megatron's thumb a hug. The two walked/skipped off happily, holding hands and singing songs and chatting while they passed Optimus with Gabriella asleep in his hand and ratchet (Apparently the great CMO isn't worthy enough to have his name capitalized but Mary-Sue #1's 'explanation' was.) and Sal sharing medical tips to each other. (Yeah, you can tell she's just adding shit in as she goes along.) Things did a major turn around for the three girls. To bad good things don't last. (Yeah, the 'good things' stopped lasting when I first started reading this story.)