Chapter Notes:This chapter is the double elopement of Shane/Alexis and Ricky/Rose. A Special Memory Wedding Chapel is an actual wedding chapel in Las Vegas. I should know; I'm too unoriginal enough to come up with my own chapel so I had to Google one. Song is "This I Swear" by Nicky Lachey. There is a shitty sexual situation at the end, so if you value any romanticisms of the lovemaking-act, you'll skip right over it, making this chapter rated M for safety brutally murdering the art of writing eroticism.

Chapter 25: This I Swear will scar you for the rest of your life.

"Thank you," Ricky said and handed the bellhop a tip. Then Ricky picked Rose up and carried her into the room. He laid Rose down on the bed and asked, "Are you ready now, Mrs. Miller? At least now, when we do the naughty-naughty, the school won't call you a slut because you're now married! Instead, they'll just call you a horny skank for flying all the way to Vegas to do a five-minute drive-thru wedding just so that we can do the hanky-panky!"

Rose nodded her head. Then Ricky and Rose went at each other like sumo wrestlers and they shared some passionate kisses; so passionate that the author couldn't go into detail about them for fear that her computer would explode from all the heat and desire! Ricky slowly removed Rose's dress and wrist corsage and Rose slowly removed his tux and wrist corsage. It was in no time that they were both naked and started exploring each other's bodies like a jobless man exploring his fridge for food: lifelessly and depressingly, already knowing what'll be found.

Ricky brought his hand (He did?! Where was it? Was is it in his suitcase?) and caressed Rose's body with it (lmao *pictures him holding one of those rubber monster hands that can purchased around Halloween*). He felt her breasts and they felt so soft (Noe wai rly?!). Rose moaned in faux pleasure when Ricky touched her breasts because her libido was dying with every second she forced herself to like his fondling.

"You like that, Rose? Huh?! Yo like dat, biznitch? Yea, yo like Master Rickeh's hands on yours boobies, don't'cha, hoe?!"

"Yeah - God, yes I do! Oh, touch me moar, Master Ricky!" Rose brought her hand (Are no one's hands attached in this story or something?) and touched Ricky with it. A lecherous smile came upon Ricky's face and his eyes seemed to cross with the utter ecstasy of it. Ricky's erection was building up like a bottle-rocket on countdown for Rose's pleasure hole and he wanted to savor this moment with her when his rocket shoots off to spew its contents all over the room.

"Are you ready for our two souls to be joined together as one in the Cybertronian tradition even though I don't know what the hell a Cybertronian is 'cause I'm supposed to be a reincarnation, thus not aware of what I was in my past life?"

"Yes, Ricky. I am ready to have you put your man-ness in my woman entrance."

Ricky entered inside Rose slowly and formed a rhythm. (Dude, is the author a Mormon, too, like fuckin' Meyer? Or is she just a major fan of the shitty author? Because this sounding more and more like Twilight: boring as crap and beyond cheesy.) Rose moaned in pleasure and Ricky went in a little deeper.

"It is getting close, Rose. I can feel our two souls joining together. I can feel them shaking hands in greeting!"

"I can feel it too, Ricky." (lmao . . . God, not even a "!" to show some sort of passion. It's like she just humoring him or something.)

Ricky brought Rose closer to him and kissed her deeply. The ecstasy built up between the two for the past three years (So . . . they've been having sex this whole time? I mean, the one time the author uses a big, descriptive word . . . it doesn't make sense whatsoever in the sentence. "Joy", "happiness", "bliss" are synonyms . . . and they read awkwardly, too.) caused them to moan in pleasure when their souls combined into one like starved amoeba. It was intense, very, very, intense . . . very . . . , but it was worthwhile , because in this crap!fic, if the author's hidden message was to tell us that sex is actually supposed to be cheesy, boring, and pathetic, she did a damn good job at telling it, because a former Transformer named Ratchet that became Ricky Miller who became John Smith later, was sent to be with Rosa Lee Connelly, now Rosa Esmeralda Lee Ravenblack Brightstar Miller, and marry her in the quickest, cheapest, and tackiest way possible, take her virginity in the most dispassionate, corniest way possible, impregnate her with his robo-baby, and then ditch her and head back to Cybertron to proudly boast to others about how he got laid by an organic, and now their two souls were joined together in the spark bond that would otherwise be a wonderful, beautiful thing had Ricky truly been a reincarnated Cybertronian rather than some human boy that expresses nothing Canon of the Cybertronian he's being played off to be..

When it was all over, because the intensity of the sex was so great that they nearly died from it, Ricky held Rose in his arms. He kissed the top of her head and told her, "We are now both spark mates, my beloved Rose. I love you so much." [insert gag reflex here]

Rose sighed happily, "I love you too, Ricky." [insert successful gag reflex here]

They fell asleep in each other's arms, in love as now both husband and wife and sparkmates and 'Sue and 'Stu.